| random bullshit |
[14 May 2006|03:08am] |
Ask me a question about each of the following:
1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Drugs
5. Love
6. Livejournal
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| well... |
[14 May 2006|02:48am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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1349 - necronatalenheten |
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once again, it's been sometime since i've posted any stuff on here.
there's many new things.
i work in the OR at the hospital.
being a part of surgeries, especially the extremely gore-tastic ones, is wonderful.
i've seen so many interesting things in the past month and a half, i can't explain it all.
there's a local electro crew starting around here, thanks to some hard ass work by a couple friends and myself.
we're going to try and put out a collaborative sampler by mid summer.
there's ep submission deadlines by the end of june.
good shit.
i have something to push me a bit now.
electracomplex will be putting down 1 ep, and so will myself and my friend devo.
that starts tomorrow.
i have my gear set up and in a good, user friendly fashion, so it'll make working better.
damn, i've been away from the net for awhile.
some of you folks should let me know how you've been...drop by and say hello.
etc
etc
etc
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| long ago...exists no more |
[13 Aug 2005|02:00am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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electra complex - sequences of sorrow |
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i sit here...looking at the flickering lights as i hit random notes, cycling through tons of patch banks until the right sound sets off a neuron or two in my head.
this is how it begins...again.
it always seems to begin again, but somehow...never ends...never gets finished.
this time, it'ss different.
this time i understand why it wasn't finished before.
there's more to it than stagnancy, or blockage of creative ideas, etc...
it was the fact that i wanted something i can't create right now.
i don't have the gear to do it...i don't have the money for the gear.
and quite frankly, heart attack bills take up most of my scratch.
there have been alot of weird things happening lately.
lots of things that have made me think.
lots of things that have made me reflect.
but there's nothing to reflect on anymore...nothing but this moment.
people started prying into my past.
it disgusted me.
they wanted to know more and more about who i was...and not WHO I AM.
so, the past no longer exists to me.
i was born and in between then and now...i lived.
if you want to know about my past...i'll give you a book full of photos from when i was growing up.
you can make your own assumptions.
or you can fuck off.
i know who my real friends are. there's few, but i am greatful for them every bit of the day.
i guess...i've kind of been "soul searching" lately.
and i feel that i have a large percentage sought out.
i was doubtful of the music thing for a few months...maybe even the past year.
but, i see that it's me. i will make music.
no matter what.
this is probably just random babble to most, but to me...it's my ideas, finally spat out in text.
if you made it this far...thanks.
if not...i guess you're not reading this part right now.
for those of you who know my number...feel free to call. it's nice to get calls every once in awhile.
for those of you who don't...if you feel like chitting and chattinb...ask.
much love to all
b
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| change |
[30 Apr 2005|10:49am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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nine inch nails - right where it belongs |
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alot of things have been happening lately.
-ashley's birthday was nice. it was great to see her. last time we hung out was skinny puppy in november (way to long ago)
-i baked her a cake that looked like boobs...it was fun
-she got a lapdance at the strip club next to the warfield.
-nine inch nails put on an amazing show as usual and the dresden dolls were really really good too.
dissonance disco is no longer together. i'm sick of doing everything and having lack of input or output from the other side. writing all the music myself is what i do with electra complex...not DD.
i'm going to release a 5 song ep to anyone that would like it of the electra complex songs that i have done right now. all of the ambient instrumental stuff. these are works created within the last year. i'm going through alot of personal change right now. i am growing and this is a new era for me. the tracks have guitar and vocals...it's very electronic still. lately, i'm just trying to adjust to all the change in my life...and it's hard, but because of good friends, a little fun, and alot of musical inspiration...it's making it a bit more smooth. i'm not sure what else i have to say right now, but everyone take care and we'll talk soon.
brandon
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| we're sorry, but the life you're trying to reach has been disconnected |
[18 Apr 2005|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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aphex twin - sand lowe (the polygon window remix) |
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today marks change for me.
there was mass thought involved.
there are pros and cons.
just like everything.
i'm tired.
my emotion has dissolved.
i am evolving.
changes will be noticable in the months to come.
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| oh yeah... |
[24 Mar 2005|11:01am] |
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mood |
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 about to save jill from weirdo |
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music |
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beck - chain reaction |
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here's the electra complex link
electra complex
enjoy
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| it's like legos...and legos are fun |
[24 Mar 2005|12:30am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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muteual mortuary (bill leed & ogre) - hateless insanity |
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piece after piece, i see "weapons of mass distortion" coming together. it's been a slow process for sure, but it's really coming along now. between 40-48 hours of work per week, practice with dissonance disco on the side, getting all of the equipment i need for this first album, and writing this electra complex album, it's been about a year since i really took initiative into writing this.
i went back into some old files and just listened to premature versions of things...just songs that i enjoyed small pieces of. an ambiance here, a synth there, "damn that's a dope bassline", and so forth. hearing my work turn from another harsh ebm club classic into what it is now...all of the changes, the little bits of influence here and there. from ebm, to drum n bass, to beginning to experiment with 1/32 time, then with 1/64 time...soon after, learning filter and modulation manipulation through my own curiosity and need for uniquity.
i hear the few songs that are close to finished, if not finished, and i think to myself "damn, this has all finally come to this."
i think my biggest want right now, more than a release of a cd, is for live performance. there's always been something i've found more awesome about live performance than i do about just rocking a cd. that is...if the live show is good and not some horrid display of how to fuck everything up possible.
as for the electra complex myspace page, i'm probably going to take down the songs within the next week or so...and then bring them back. i'm trying out different bits and pieces in them, working out little parts i find that pick at me. to anyone on here that has checked out the site, thank you. if not, i ask you to give a listen and please send me honest feedback and criticism.
anyways, thanks to all of you and i hope to hear from you or see some of you soon.
brandon
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| lately... |
[16 Mar 2005|04:39pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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somatic responses - wandering |
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well, my father was diagnosed with hepatitis c of the most powerful and non-curable level. it's weird though...i know i feel sad, but on the outside, i seem so...distant from any emotion. i guess i'm just more concentrated on figuring out my mother's emotions and standpoint on the whole thing. when we first found out, she said, "well, he deserves it...", because of his past drug use...and recent past drug use. i used to mention his name and she'd almost hiss at me, but now...all she does is weep over it. she sits and talks to me about how it's grinding at her, etc, etc about the whole deal and how she feels so bad for him and so on...but she never asks how i am. ever since meghan died (my apologies on bringing up past bullshit), i've found myself struggling to externally show emotion in situations. is it possible that a person's outside show of emotion can dissipate after a tragedy or something of that level? my mom did ask me why i don't go by and visit him every day. i guess my answer is that it's really fucking tough. it's hard to see a healthy man (other than the drug use) to dilapidate so fucking quickly. he went from muscular to skin and bone. his skin is a yellowish tone. walking is painful for him to do. it reminds me of something that you buy new and slowly it starts to deteriorate. like a car or something...it's new, it gets scratches, the engine starts fucking up, the brakes go bad, it gets dents, it gets more scratches, and after a good enough amount of time...things start to fall off...bumpers, fenders, door handles, windshield wipers. i've never seen a human deteriorate. it's just new and odd to me. my mom keeps looking at old pictures of all of us as a family and shit...i just want to make as many new pictures, whether mental or on paper, as possible before he dies. they give him until next january at most...so, we'll see.
anyways...
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| bork bork |
[16 Mar 2005|10:59am] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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music |
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somatic responses - revula |
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 | You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Satanism | | 92% | atheism | | 83% | agnosticism | | 58% | Buddhism | | 54% | Judaism | | 50% | Paganism | | 42% | Islam | | 38% | Christianity | | 33% | Hinduism | | 13% | </td>
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| ... |
[15 Mar 2005|10:39pm] |
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music |
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hara-kari kitty - Game Over...P.S. Your EBM Beats Suck |
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obviously...nobody gives a fuck.
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| long long ago...in a moment before this one... |
[07 Mar 2005|12:53am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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squarepusher - anirog d9 |
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i made an entry...and didn't spell a couple words right.
tonight, before i go to sleep...i shall try and spell all of these words right.
there has been tons going on lately.
i am someone's senior project mentor. it's really neat.
i'm teaching him how to record, mix, master, and write electronic music.
i've taught him the basics of time signatures and making beats, creating sequences...now, it's time for the fun.
i'm going to show him how to annihilate a drum beat. that's my favorite thing. it really is. something about making a regular beat turn into this complex movement, all from one simple pattern...something about that to me is just wonderful. filters, delays, distortions, modulators, beat slicing, lo-fi resonators, etc...there's so many options...so many different tonalities that each bring forth.
anyways, electra complex stuff is evolving once again. it's still rather dark ambient, but i'm incorporating more maniacal beats into it. my "obsession?" with destroying beats has really kicked in lately. i've taken individual drum samples that i have created, cut out a kick, or snare, or hi hat, or some weird sound, cut it in half, then transpose it, then move it into a 1/2 time movement and use it with other bits like that to make individual drum beats...
it truly is amazing what happens with the human mind when bored. i tend to think of new ways to manipulate a pattern or something...sometimes i wonder what other people think.
it's late, i'm tired, and i'm rambling.
i just posted in here, because i haven't done so in awhile.
if anyone gives a shit, i'll be in the bay on the 12th, the 14th (i'll see most of you at death guild's 12th anniversary party), on april 27th (nin show), and then on may 19th (autechre show)...so yeah.
shit,
b
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| midgets |
[20 Jan 2005|01:53am] |
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music |
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nectar - substance (chop shop rmx by hypnose) |
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i want your soul...i will eat your soul.
actually, i just want some quality studio monitors for reference.
and later on...some very very large 2-15" enclosures.....
delerium is fun, a loose mind relequishes hold upon creativity.
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| whoa snap! |
[04 Jan 2005|01:35pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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aphex twin - buck tick - in the glitter part 2 |
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first thing's first:
next, electra complex dissonance disco
electra complex (me) is getting closer and closer to having a full length...i'm looking at mid-late march, but sometimes things go a bit slower...SO NO PROMISES!!!
Dissonance Disco (guy and i) on the other hand is looking for a new album in february on Pish Posh records. we're playing alot of shows, so if you're at all interested...SHOW UP!
anyways, have fun! all that shit...
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| and so it begins... |
[06 Dec 2004|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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well, today i finally got a first bit of work up on the Electra Complex myspace site. it's called All of Those Laughing Faces. i still am working on a synth piece for it and vocals will surely come in the future, but i think for now...you'll get the gist of things if you take a listen.
http://www.myspace.com/electracomplex
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| i like it loud |
[27 Nov 2004|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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ian m - annihilation |
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this was, by far, the best thanksgiving yet. my homie Dusty and his homie (now my homie also) came down from Oregon to kick it at my house and go to the skinny puppy show. it was rocking good times. the opening act, otto von schirach was horrible. i've heard his albums and they are much more bearable than the live act. there was a total of maybe one minute of actual solid music within his set. the rest was horribly done glitch shit. skinny puppy then came on and played for a good hour and a half if not longer. they had a really good set, hitting alot of classics and of course some of the more popular songs. after the show, we joined teams with this guy named anthony and his crew and we went a block down to some apartment place that was all broken down and there was a little party going on in there. there was a hard house, drum n bass/jungle, trance, and gabber rooms in there. it was really a nice time. i danced like mad. i was in the hard house, gabber, and jungle rooms all night, just rocking like mad. it was cool. i'd rather go to a huge fuckin massiv though. i need to find out about the next one. maybe a kickass warehouse party. yeah. how was all of your thanksgivings? let me know...
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| things and stuff |
[06 Nov 2004|12:58pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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tarmvred - 6 |
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my room is growing slowly. there is a recent growth of musical equipment within it. i picked up an Alesis Micron synth for 250 bucks. yeah, it's cool. i dig it's tones and the FM Amount nob...oooooh, it's soooooo good. the music is really beginning to come along now. i got my dell Dimension 5160 laptop by UPS about a week ago now and i totally love it, i just need to get Reason on there so i can transfer all of my shit from my fuckin desktop computer to my laptop. i finally got new chords and everything runs into the mixer and sounds clean. supposedly on December 18th i will be doing a show with Guy in Modesto. that should be fun. he's doing a project called Dissonance Disco. i probably have mentioned it before. anyways, i'm doing the programming for that and we'll both do some synth shit and he'll do vox also when we play live. it should be fun.
Nichell and i went to San Francisco on Thursday the 4th. it was a really great time. we went to the beach at fort cronkhite and walked around the bunkers and shit. we went all over, she got some new boots and it was an overall awesome time. i'm really growing fond of her day after day. one thing i really like, is that she respects my own personal time by myself and with my friends...we're not trying to be together around the clock.
aside from dissonance disco, i have been working alot with filtrations and severe manipulation of my drums and some synth shit. i think it's a really fun and cool thing when something turns out right. someone i showed the music to said i created power-idm... i said, "whatever." work is going really good. i totally like these early morning shifts...they provide me with alot of time by myself to write and then time in the evenings to hang out with Nichell or jam with Morgan or Guy.
LANCE!!! i couldn't get ahold of you when i was down in the bay...we wanted to stop by. i'll mail some music to you in about a week or so, unless i'm down there for the skinny puppy show before that. Andie wants to learn programming and stuff, so that should be cool. i'm going to help her buff up her skills so she can be all gangsta with it and stuff.
being sober from everything feels weird...i can totally feel my whole body having these weird, spastic-like reactions. i gained some weight too, but it's ok...i guess it's for the better.
i have to go reorganize my room now and get this whole mini-studio set up so i can rock when i wake up from my nap.
LATER
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| oh yeah........ |
[25 Oct 2004|12:36pm] |
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mood |
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insane |
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music |
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electra complex - long drives in the rain |
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i'm rabid motherfuckers! i get my custom laptop in 3 days. AHAHAHAHA! live shows! ahahahaha!!!!!!
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| now, for something completely different |
[25 Oct 2004|12:14pm] |
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mood |
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 disco |
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music |
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Panacea - Tron Remix |
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well, it's been sometime...as usual...as of lately. well, the music stuff is going awesome. Electra Complex stuff is really coming together now that i've obtained Ableton Live for all of my sequencing and after effects shit. i really like that program. i'm currently doing alot of programming work for my friend Guy's project, entitled Dissonance Disco. we're looking at playing some live shows in the November/December period. it's basically really brutal beat oriented disco-pop. hahaha, it's a weird mix, but really cool. Morgan and i haven't been working together much lately. our exterior schedules have been super busy, so we're just writing on our own and compiling pieces to throw in the mix when we do get to rock together. it should kick some serious ass.
i went to SF for the first time in a long time. I watched Pneumatic Detach, Antigen Shift, and Gridlock at the DNA Lounge. it was such an awesome show. i videotaped it for my girlfriend Nichell, since she couldn't make it. it was so nice to get out of town for the day. i can't wait to start living down there next year.
Nichell and i have been together for 2 months now. things are really nice and she's super fun to be around. we share alot in common, yet have alot of differences that we learn about each other from. that's so nice to be able to do. i've only had a relationship like that once before...i know this one won't end like that one though.
On the 26th of November, Dusty (my brotha from anotha motha) is coming down from Portland to kick it and watch the Skinny Puppy show. woooooooha! this is going to kick massive ass. he is also bringing this cool local girl named Andie. that's about all i can think of right now...
DUH!
how has everyone been? let me know...aight?
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[29 Sep 2004|10:57pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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grand national - talk amongst yourselves |
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holy shit...things have changed. first, livejournal has this whole new look when i'm making a journal entry. aye! madness!
next, i am now happily dating a girl that i've had a crush on for like 2 years now. her name is Nichell and she is wonderful. we have been dating for a little over two weeks and having fun just being together and finding random things to do around here.
work is going well. i'm going to start working early mornings soon. i can't wait. there are alot of dumbshit, lazy bastards on the evening shift that don't do a fuckin thing and i'm tired of doing the jobs of 2 other people, including my work on top of that. the early morning shift, i'll work from like 3 am until noon. it'll be great. i'll decorate cakes and make bakery stuff for 8 hours. no worrying about whether someone cleaned this or that, because it'll be my job and i know it'll get done. no picking up after some of the slobs i work with. no dealing with some bastard telling me he's going to use the restroom and then coming back 20-30 minutes later. (what he doesn't know, is that i see him go upstairs, then come back down with a soda and go outside and smoke for that period of time)
music is coming along nicely. Morgan and i have had some pretty conflicting schedules lately, but it's ok. it's given me time to really rock some ideas out and now i'll be able to give them to him for further manipulation and shit. we're going to jam on friday. score! he got a new mixer and a synth also...things should be a bit wild. how's everyone doing? i hope shit is going well for all of you...peace
Brandon
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| a slight condition |
[06 Sep 2004|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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giddy |
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music |
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haujobb - ninetynine |
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oh yay. more writer's block. my head is so constipated right now. it's like a fat man with his asshole sewn shut. everything is coming out in jumbles when i'm laying down tracks today. it's like one big, disoriented clusterfuck. it's ok though. this time, i know what's sitting at the front of my brain and all i need to do, is push it out of the way...maybe for once, i'll just speak what i feel in it's entirety.
i saw my friend Chris today. it's been quite sometime since we hung out. it was nice. he was telling me how much he's seen me grow as a person. he's 27. he knew my cousin. it made me feel good to know that some people can see certain things. that it's not just me. he was talking about how i used to be all "in the darkness" and shit. it made me laugh, because i think about that and wonder "what the fuck was i thinking, doing, etc"? all i said was..."everybody has to grow up at some time, i just made the decision to do it a bit earlier than most modern day people."
"true, true" he told me.
all in all it was nice. we went and sat at Applebee's and had some drinks, ate some food and just chatted. it was nice to see Chris now, instead of a few years ago. he was heavily into drugs and watching someone you basically could call your brother dilapidate into nothing with no ability to help them whatsoever...isn't the best of feelings. he's been clean for 3 years now. i'm proud of him.
after hanging out with Chris, i came home and sliced up some samples...some didn't come out that well and need to be redone. as soon as i get the fuckin ZOOM button to work, i'll be able to exact the samples and things will sound better. hahaha. i actually had to pull out my license today when i went out, so i could get a drink...underneath it, i found an old picture Meghan had given me when we first met. it made me smile. just seeing her face, in front of me like that, it brought back all of these great moments.
Morgan should be back in town tonight and we're going to jam on Wednesday. i hope this damned writer's block subsides. i talked with Guy on the phone about the split EP and he's working on some stuff right now also. there's alot of small things going on. it's nice to have a little relief from the large things in life and to be able to focus on more delicate situations. all in all, i guess i'm starting to find some simplicity in life, although still running into complications. but hey, it happens. thus is life and life is swell...sometimes.
oh yeah, i cut my hair...no more bangs. they got tiring.
bye kids
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neurotoxsin's journal